No Longer Business As Usual At The Brick House

Up until recently the Government of the Mariners have been operated as 'government by proposals'. This interprets to mean that whatever interests party loyalists , sycophants and other 'chop-chop politicians' have; either in the way of 'finding something for the boys' or 'settlement' for 'hard work' - all they needed to do is write proposals to under take some kind of projects - seen or unseen; useful or not. These are passed to the Brick House and funds are released to execute them, by passing the relevant Ministries and Agencies that are supposed to carry them out based on priorities and needs of the people.

We hear that the current occupant of the Brick House has put an end to all these. He has decided to revert to the appropriate approach of Public Expenditure Management (PEM), with funds released to execute the budget proposal for the year. This method gives authority and responsibility to the commissioners who can truly be assessed based on their performance.

While we welcome this development, we are aware of how things have gone wrong till this moment. Therefore we encourage all those concerned to embrace this new way of working and warn that the resident at the Brick House should constantly look out for revisionists and send them packing from the house.

We wish him good luck in his reforms because if he succeeds he would be a trail blazer. I think we mariners can do with such a pride among residents of Naija.

A New Begining

We can all recount the events of 2007: Lots of anxiety about April 2007 - induction of members into the 'Brick House', the Mud House and the 'Thatch Houses'. Followed by the acrobatic display of the various 'cultural troupes' and their dangerous dancers - spectators only look at their risk. There was also several forceful invitations to new tourism locations with entrance fees charged at economic rates - willingness and ability to pay. Lights out at 9.00 pm, broken promises and others not withstanding - no one can kill the human spirit.

Finally, we were allowed to pray at midnight as 2008 was about to commence. Because 'faith in God gives meaning and purpose to human life' (apologies Jaycees)- our hopes and faith are strengthened as we start all over again rebuilding our lives and renewing our spirits.

Boma sime Tamuno be piri

Its 'Port Highlife' Again

Starting from midnight to-nite, the city of Port Harcourt will start to reclaim its night life once more. Thanks to the end of year celebrations that will end with a 'watch night' service in various churches across the city. This event hopefully ends over four months of suspension of night activities following disturbances from political thugs.

With this development, residents can look forward to a rebirth of the city's well acclaimed hang-outs that gives the city its unique place in the country. I wish to congratulate all those who have been part of this decision and to encourage all citizens to determine with one voice to say 'never again'.

Happy New Year and lets be prepared for a more purposeful 2008.

Arrogantly Niaja

My Guy you have been quiet for some time. I had expected to see you at the Independence Gala Nite after that beautiful lecture on 'TINA Naija'.

Bros, you will recall a lot of waters have passed under the bridge. I decided not to contact you until events at the 'Change of Guards' ceremony taking place at the 'Brick House' have been concluded.

So what has been your observation? At least I know there is no longer lights out at 9 pm. Yes ! it does not matter that it has been shifted to 12 midnight - you guys are still capable of off loading a trailer load of larger and sending the empty bottles to the factory that same night. So why have remained so silent?

The hand over ceremony was well attended but we hear a lot of buzz and food were missing.

And the guests didn't have enough to eat and drink?

Haba Bros! Have you forgotten that this is the 'treasure base of the nation'? How can there ever be a glut in buzz? The black gold never runs dry otherwise how is it that your 'tommy' still maintains its super circumference?

I hope you have not started to be cheeky again? So what in your assessment of things on the ground?

There are a lot of motions no movement. Some bit of noise making but no music. Hope, faith and more hope for some sort of activity.

No! No! No! you are confusing me. And you sound a bit religious. Have joined them too?

No Bros, far from that. We are considering taking alternative paths.

But you said 'there is no alternative to Nigeria' a.k.a. TINA Naija. So why are you contradicting yourself? And you are speaking too much in parables. I'm getting worried. Are you sure you have not joined those people casting and binding evil spirits and demons?

Bros, the other options open to us is to begin to demonstrate how things can be done differently with the hope that the people at the Brick House can change the way they think and act accordingly.

But how are going to do that without resources? I mean money, men and materials?

Precisely, that is what we the people of this land - Naija - have in abundance. Our smartness, our generosity, our resourcefulness, our endurance, our beliefs, .....our courage and self confidence bothering on arrogance. No one can take these from us despite the current set back.

My guy I can't disagree with you. I do not underestimate the degree of your 'plastic patriotism'. But how can this be done in practical terms?

Bros, I would encourage you to visit one of the neighborhoods in the city of Port Highlife. Just ask anyone you see about the way to B&B jetty. At 'Farm Gate' junction turn left and follow the tarred road until you reach the entrance. Then have this conversation with the gate men. A visit will convict you.

What! Convict me? What for?

Sorry for the slip of inappropriate word. I mean confuse you. Sorry again. What I mean to say is that you will be convinced about options available to all of us and most importantly, you will have the opportunity to confirm all those 'strictly Naija' traits.

My Guy, nice talking to you and thank you for the food for thought. And do stay in touch.

Bros, Action - that is the new Naija way of doing things. No more slacking. e-don du.

There is No Alternative to Nigeria

My Guy, I have always known that you've got 'plastic patriotism' but what is this all about?

Bros, you are probably aware of what I'm going to tell you now. You see, my kind of job gets me to visit and actually live a few days in all parts of the country. I have noticed that in every State capital, when government workers' salaries are delayed for a few days, every succeeding day is like a Sunday.

What do you mean?

The days pass slowly in solemn contemplation.

You mean everyone prays? That is good, at least to usher in peace and more blessing to our dear land in the midst of terrorist anarchy everywhere in the world.

Far from it. When workers salaries are not paid the economies of these States begin to wind down. But as soon as the workers receive their pay - Bang! the States come alive.

What are you getting at?

None of the States can survive outside the THE HOME - Naija

Are you implying they are parasites?

No. They are symbiotic. Bros, I reckon you can still manage this 'O' level biology. Or perhaps you never went to this type of school. Let me explain. A symbiotic relationship is one that benefits both parties.

So what is the relationship of this biology to what you are saying?

Good. You see all the ethnic nationalities need this place called HOME - Nigeria - not only to survive but to prosper. Apart from that they need it to be 'great'. Take for example the big three: The Yoruba people are not great because they are Yorubas. They are great because they are Nigerians. The day they cease to be Nigerians, they loose the right to those juicy jobs in the banks and other major corporations.

Yes, go on.

The Hausa person is not great because he is Hausa. He is known because he is a Nigerian. The day he stops being a Nigeria, 'chikina'. There is no way he can aspire to the leadership of 140 million strong 'smart people' plus the government appointments that go with it.

Ok, I'm with you.

The Igbo man is not great because he is Igbo. He is recognized because he is a Nigerian. The moment he relinquishes that heritage - he would loose this vast territory to sell his wares.

In effect our interests are better protected within a Nigerian nation. Is that what are saying?

Yes Bros. But you see there is so much ignorance, arrogance, and shear stupidity especially among the ruling class.

What about the ordinary people? How much of this understanding do they have?

They know this too well that they are appealing to people like you to take this message to your colleagues. The average Nigerian just want to continue to 'wack' his garri in peace, unity and progress.

My Guy, this is another food for thought. I thank you very much for this on the eve of our 47th Anniversary.

Bros, Action... and I may cease this opportunity to wish you and other country-men and women a happy independence anniversary.

Lights Out at 9 pm

My Guy, you have been too quite these days. I hope the curfew is not getting a better part of you?

Bros, your wisdom is more than that of King Solomon. Remember the last time you were here, the City could not contain you. You even left hmm. hmm. hmm a progeny.

You were so young then, how did you know this? I have always known that you like Senior jokes but this one is too expensive.

There are no secrets under the sun. Remember, that was the time your very close pal nick named the place 'Port High life'.

My oh my, how time flies. But how are people generally adjusting to the current situation in PH, I mean Port er. er. yes highlight, abi high wire, ....iya high life?

Bros, to cut a long story short: The Women are happy that their men can no longer stay out late; the Men are frustrated and the Children are indifferent.

So it is a good thing after all. We have to bring back good moral standards to out society. All those men running after anything on skimpy skirts, show your 'bom-bom' trousers, etc will now be forced to play with their housemates or wives at home.

Bros, with due respect, you are not any better. We are all aware of your escapades. But to the real issue: Peoples livelihoods are at stake and we are not sure how much longer they can take this. The looming economic catastrophe this indefinite curfew will bring may yet fuel another crises. This City of Port Harcourt depends on every hour of the 24 hours, every day, in every year to live on and in good times prosper.

My Guy, I see your point. But the 'Senior Prefect' has to do his duty and put out the lights at the appropriate time because you and your people are really trouble makers. Now we see you, at other times we don't. Just like willie.. .willie, you know what I mean.

Yes we all have out duties to do but by whatever means the 'Prefects' must come to a decision to get the City working gain. No, not indefinite lights out.

So what do you want me to do. My Guy, I really want to help at least for your sake. I know how you miss those gyration sessions in the Clubs.

Bros, thanks for your understanding. Please try and explain the situation to the 'Principal' to prevail on the 'Senior Prefect' to remove this 'bedtime rule' after all the City is not in a 'State of Emergency' - so were are told.

Thanks, I shall be thinking about it.

Bros, ACT now. ACTION is all that is needed to save an already ugly situation.

Public Assault in Port Harcourt

My Guy, I believe peace has returned to your city - that city you loved so much that you refused to eat 'kpomo' and 'boli' with me, so you can catch your flight the other day.

Bros, you can say that again. This is home. But you need to be here to see what the citizens of your country that voted for democracy are going through.

What is the matter? By the way I saw people raising up their hands in the air on television. Is that the new style in PH?

I always know that you have that rare gift of insight, intuition or what I would I call it. That is the point. We hear the 'home grown' militants have been flushed out of the city, but your fellow citizens are now being subjected to in-human treatment by other fellow citizens. A Pastor friend of mine calls it - Public Assault - that is why I have used it in the title of this message.

But I have always warned you that your people are going to suffer for the sins of those miscreants among you. May be the militants are still 'walking' side by side with normal people - you can never tell. People learn very easily these days from television you know. You guys may try to demonstrate 'Iraq' here in Nigeria. I even hear that your 'juju' - Egbesu - can make your people disappear.

So that explains why women with little babies, and even my three year old girl is asked to get out of the car, walk across the check-point with hands up in the air. Of course she was not amused, a bit confused but very curious.

And what did you have to tell her?

We had a conversation because I did not have the answers to her queries. Let me just narrate:
Daddy! why is every body saying alleluia!!? No they are not saying alleluia they are putting up their hands to GOD. But we are not in church. No, everywhere is church now because anything can happen with those guys carrying those 'iron sticks'. You mean the 'guns'? Well since you know what they are you had better obey. But daddy.......Obey please.....

So what happened later?

The little girl has to walk the 100 meters stretch to get back to her daddy's car. And was it fun?At some point, when she has to do the same routine in five places before getting to where she wanted that ice-cream badly.

Poor girl, she has to suffer for the foolishness of some senseless adults. So what is the way forward?

This form of human degradation, humiliation and suffering must stop forthwith. Otherwise there may be more casualties from the civilian population.

What do you mean - civilian resistance?

No Bros, but some 'none violence disobedience', and you know your people - they will react and some 'kill and go action' may follow.

Thanks My Guy for that food for ACTION. I will keep on thinking about it.

Bros, ACT NOW delay may be dangerous